your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I understand Curling. That high.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
