There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Randomize
