have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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