Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
