let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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