did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
