It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
