hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
