By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
This is my gift to your gina
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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