i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
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