is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
