Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
