Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
