Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize
