Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
