She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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