No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
