Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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