Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
