Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
