she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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