Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
