She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
