they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
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