Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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