So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
