So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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