Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
