I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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