yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
