What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
