Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
