in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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