Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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