doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Randomize
