i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
