exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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