So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
