I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
