Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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