My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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