So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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