The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
