Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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