I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
