Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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