You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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