Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
