How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
