Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
