Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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