it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
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