I think i peed on brittanys purse
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
