I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
