I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
