Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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