She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
