She is in my trunk
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
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