Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Is it penis luge time yet?
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Randomize
