I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
