Someone shit on the floor
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
