I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize