He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
