careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
