we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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